Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
