He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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