I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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