I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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