she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
