Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
