So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
