I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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