There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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