sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
