Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
