yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
