found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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