do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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