He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
