help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
