I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
