Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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