i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
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