dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
