Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
