Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
