roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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