The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
