question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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