My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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