So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
