It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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