I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Randomize
