Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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