just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
