piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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