I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
