Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
