That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You ate ashes out of my bong
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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