Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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