There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
