if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
