you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
