Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
