i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
