I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
im holly from the hills drunk
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
