He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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