I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
