Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
