She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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