thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Randomize
