Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
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