Non-Jews are for practice
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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