the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
