he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
