There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
