u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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