Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Let's paint friendship bongs
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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